Extramarital affairs have been dramatically played up by the movies and other media as steamy sexual encounters. This is in most part true, but extramarital affairs also bring a lot of pain and suffering not only to the participants but to their loved ones as well.
When a wife finds out that the husband is having extramarital affairs, her normal reaction will be pain and humiliation. It is shocking to learn that your husband is deceiving you and the knowledge will be a source of despair, sadness coupled with feelings of rage and anger. An extramarital affair is a betrayal of the wedding vows and the trust between two people who are sharing a life, possibly with children.
Some excuses for extramarital affairs range from weak mindedness, an uncontrollable sex drive, or drunkenness. Whatever the initial reason, regrets usually come later, except for affairs that were deliberately, stealthily started. Most extramarital affairs were found not to really stem from wantonness or hunger for sex, but rather with needs that are unmet in the home. It is not an excuse for immoral behavior or the wounding of a partner, but to stress the complexity of human interrelationships; that of a marriage and that of an affair.
In evaluating extramarital affairs, the condition and viability of the marriage is the first to consider. Both parties have to heal the wounds and go forward. Forward may have different connotations to the parties involved. For the philandering husband, forward may mean going back to the family fold, as that is his comfort zone. For an aggrieved wife, it may be ending an intolerable marriage and opting for change. The roles may also be reversed, according to the love relationship existing in or out of the marriage.
Married people are linked spiritually, emotionally and sexually. The spiritual concept does not necessarily mean the same religion but a deeper bond of beliefs and faith and trust. The links between a husband and a wife mainly stems from a monogamous relationship, with trust as a major component. It is the togetherness, the connection that is the basis of the husband-wife intimacy, keeping the relationship going. All the problems like stress, illness, work problems and extended family problems are overcome with a strong partnership and the assurance that someone is there for you. When the trust and faith becomes eroded, and the sexual relationship becomes non-exclusive, the link begins to unravel. The extramarital affairs begin with the search for one other supportive partner. In this unique circumstance, any old dating site won’t work. Only one site is big enough that caters to the discreet dating world, and this is Ashley Madison.
A partner in a marriage must feel cherished, respected and valued by their husband. The respect and the other values secure the marriage bonds and nourish intimacy. However, even if these feelings exist but is not communicated, some form of misunderstanding might develop. The threat to the marriage does not come from meeting sexually attractive people, but the loss of communication and respect between the couple. The better half will not even look at another, nor give the time of day to a potential lover if the present lover is more than he can hope for. Extramarital affairs will not exist if a highly satisfying affair exists inside the marriage